How do you know if love is real

What Exactly Does Love Even Mean?

Love can take many shapes and forms, but can you determine if you love someone? Below we will discuss how you can interpret how you feel, the signs you feel this way for someone, and how to feel confident in the way you feel for someone.

Table of Contents Show

What Exactly Does Love Even Mean?
Does Time Really Actually Matter for Love?
You Feel Like You Both Bring Out The Best In Each Other
Both Partners Feel Ready To Grow Together
There Is A Deep Foundation Of Trust
You And Your Partner Make Each Other Feel Special
Conclusion: How to Know the Signs that You Really Actually Are In Love

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Psychologist Robert Sternberg suggested that various kinds of love—romantic, companionate, familial, and so on—all utilize three components: intimacy, or closeness; passion, or deep interest in the other person; and commitment, or a desire to maintain the relationship. Sternberg theorized that each form of love is composed of different intensities or amounts of each of these ingredients.

But what is love itself? There is no single answer. Some believe it to be an unparalleled emotional experience, akin to music, fairy tales and romantic comedies that conclude with “happily ever after.” People who believe in this kind of love may trust in the concept of a soulmate, someone who will be their perfect match in lifelong love.

Others place greater distinction on the commitment you make, suggesting that love is something that you make a promise to respect and work for. These people believe that love is messy, hard, and just downright frustrating at times. According to these people, when you love a person, you may argue or have hard times, but love will bring you through it.

Though these are among the most common ideas about love, the only one that really matters is the one you believe in. Love is a concept and not a solidified item. It can be whatever you think it should be.

Does Time Really Actually Matter for Love?

For some people, love really can happen in an instant—a connection with another person that is deep and mutual. For many others, it takes time to build feelings of affection up for another person. If you think to yourself, "I think I'm in love," you naturally want to consider all the future possibilities of your relationship.

This all depends on what your definition of love is. If you believe love to be fleeting, you may feel that love could spark in an instant, but it could also disappear without warning.

On the other hand, if you believe that love is something that must be built over a more extended period, then you may feel that you must know someone very deeply before you jump straight into saying, "I love you."

Regardless of how you believe love happens or lasts, if you’re thinking “I think I’m in love,” you may find yourself questioning how to know if your feelings are real. Here are some common indicators that you may be “in love”:

You Feel Like You Both Bring Out The Best In Each Other

When you are in love, you should want the best for one another. This desire should also bring out the best qualities in each of you. You don't necessarily have to be happy all the time when you are together, but your partner should make you feel good about yourself. Many of us have an inner self and secret desires or passions that we only show to the people closest to us.

You should also bring out the best in your partner. You may notice their mood improve when they are with you, or they may make efforts to change problematic behaviors, like dealing with anger or communication issues, when you spend time together.

Cannot Imagine Hurting One Another

Relationships can be difficult. Any person in a relationship has experienced times when it’s a little harder to be around their partner.

However, whether you and your partner experience a minor disagreement or a significant argument, neither of you should want to hurt the other. Even when you are in the most serious of arguments, your inner voice should remind you of your "I think I'm in love" feeling. This voice tells you that you don't want to hurt your partner.

Just about everyone has said something they don’t mean when they are angry or upset, something they later regret saying. If you or your partner say something in the heat of anger, it doesn’t mean that your relationship is irreparably damaged. Time, apologies, and forgiveness can heal an argument and restore your closeness. A sign that you are falling in love is that even when you and your partner are angry, neither of you will intentionally choose to say things that will wound or linger in one another’s minds because you don't want to cause each other pain.

Both Partners Feel Ready To Grow Together

Time changes relationships just as it changes people. Just as you aren't the same person you were ten years ago today, you won't be the same person ten years from now.

When you say to yourself, "I think I'm in love," consider putting some thought into the future. Are you ready to grow with this person? It is of the utmost importance to be honest with yourself throughout the entire process. It can be very easy to get caught up in feeling smitten and ignore long-term incompatibilities that you and your partner may have.

It is also entirely okay if you and your partner aren't on the same level when you first meet. You just must be sure that, before you jump straight into the "I think I'm in love" stage of your relationship, you communicate with your partner that you want to grow together.

There Is A Deep Foundation Of Trust

Trust is arguably one of the most important aspects of any close relationship. If you can't trust your partner, you likely don’t feel safe in the relationship on a foundational level, which makes feeling “in love” difficult if not impossible.

When you love someone, and they love you, there should be no concerns of infidelity or dishonesty. This expectation goes along with not wanting to hurt each other, but expectations of honesty and faithfulness are important all on their own.

You're Not Afraid To Be Yourself

The person that you are meant to love will make you comfortable with and appreciative of yourself.

Being in love can give you the confidence and the support to love yourself just as fiercely as you love your partner. You should be able to display all the quirks in your personality with happiness and acceptance. Your partner should be able to do the same. You will know your love is real because you will learn new things about each other all the time. The longer you love one another, the deeper your trust with one another will be.

The person you are in love with will hopefully be your best friend and your life partner. As you grow in your love together, your personalities will flourish together, and you will be able to enjoy the person you are alongside the person you love.

You And Your Partner Make Each Other Feel Special

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Loving a person often means wanting to make them feel special. Your love will likely overflow into almost everything you do, but you may also find yourself taking extra steps to treat your loved one.

Over the course of your relationship, you will learn how your partner wishes to give and receive affection, as well as celebrate milestones and holidays, and they will learn your preferences, too. Each of you may find excitement and joy in learning new ways to surprise and show affection to each other.

Won't Have Doubts

Some people search for love and go through several periods of saying to themselves, "I think I'm in love," just to have the feeling fade after the novelty of being with a new person wears off.

When you are truly in love, you won't have to search for it, but you will feel it on a deep level. You may visualize your future with your partner, compare your life with them favorably to life before you met, and feel that you want to remain with them always. Give yourself time and space to consider these important feelings.

Make It Work

Love is perhaps one of the most intense and deep feelings that a person can hold within them. Sometimes, though, life events and circumstances change and make maintaining a loving relationship difficult. Not every relationship can endure in the long term. However, if you and your partner remain committed to each other and preserving what you have built, then you already have the most important tool for repairing and strengthening your relationship.

Conclusion: How to Know the Signs that You Really Actually Are In Love

Every relationship, old or new, requires work in order to grow and remain healthy. Oftentimes, seeking the support of a mental health professional or mental health treatment, either solo or alongside your partner, can be a helpful boost to keep your relationship on the right path.This support can take the form of therapy or counseling, such as marriage counseling, to strengthen or repair an intimate partnership. Couples therapy that incorporates emotionally-focused therapy (EFT) to help struggling relationships has shown a 75 percent success rate.

Online therapy is flexible, so you can arrange couples’ sessions according to you and your partner’s schedules or pursue individual therapy on your own time. It is also more affordable than in-person therapy, and you can choose how to connect with a mental health professional: via video chat, phone call, or text messaging. Online therapy is not just for couples in the middle of a struggle; relationship maintenance is healthy and important, too. Working with an online therapist through BetterHelp may make your love stronger than ever. Consider these reviews from BetterHelp users who have used online therapy services to manage their relationships.

Alan has been a great help to me while I have been navigating some tumultuous and emotionally draining situations. He is helping me understand and process things I did not realize I was carrying. My partner and I also did a couples session with him. He gave use some tools to help smooth the way through some misunderstandings and irritations we were experiencing. https://www.betterhelp.com/j-alan-waiczis/

She’s awesome! Keeps the facts and really helped me understand bad behaviours done by other people and why it happens. I enjoyed talking to her and learning about effective relationship and it helps me to understand what I’m looking for in a partner, who I am as a partner, and where I want the relationship to go. Change and being open is key! Thanks Cecelia!