Love my boyfriend but sexually attracted to someone else

Q: Can you love someone and be sexually attracted to someone else?

In fact, its much more common than you might expect. In one study published in Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, almost 70% of participants said theyd experienced some kind of attraction toward someone other than their partner while in a long-term relationship.

Q: Is it okay to be attracted to someone else when you have a boyfriend?

Its perfectly normal to still fancy other people, even when you are in a happy relationship,” he explains. You can be in a relationship with someone and still appreciate a good looking person when you see them. A little fantasy here or there is healthy as long as thats all it is.”

Q: What to do when youre sexually attracted to someone else?

Here, 12 women whove fancied people other than their partners explain how they dealt with those feelings..

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. (55583 Views)

Table of Contents Show

Can you love someone and be sexually attracted to someone else?
Is it okay to be attracted to someone else when you have a boyfriend?
Is it normal to be attracted to someone else while in a relationship?
What to do when you're sexually attracted to someone else?

I Am Sexually Attracted To Guys Younger Than My Age! / I'm Sexually Attracted To This Girl. Is Something Wrong With Me? / I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Falling In Love With Someone Else. (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (11) (Reply) (Go Down)

I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by ItsTerah(f): 10:10pm On Aug 25, 2020

I know I'm going to get alot of insults from you guys and that's why I didn't use my original Nairaland account for this, but please hear me out and give me good advice.

I'm the kind of girl that doesn't love easily. I don't think I've ever fallen in love before. I have dated just one guy and I broke up with him when he tried to rape me. I'm still a virgin and the reason is because I have trust issues. I know that if I have sex with a guy I'll become very attached and my heart can easily be broken. So I'm waiting for a guy I can trust.

I recently just started dating someone. I'm not in love with him but we've been very good friends and when he asked me out I just had to say yes so that I wouldn't lose him. I've still not had sex with him and I like that he respects my wishes. My boyfriend loves me and although I don't love him equally I've opened up to him about how difficult it is for me to reciprocate love.

Then there is this other guy I just became friends with. I won't lie, I'm sexually attracted to this guy. My sexual attraction to him intensified when he opened up to me about his kinks which are similar to mine. He told me he has feelings for me and likes me alot and can't get me out of his mind. I admitted I am sexually attracted to him but that I don't have feelings for him. I know he is sexually attracted to me and has made advances at me and even asked for nude pictures all of which I refused. But I still talk to him. He knows about my boyfriend and is aware of my situation. Occasionally he flirts with me but I try not to flirt back. I've tried to bury my sexual attraction to him but he is just so physically appealing. I've made it clear that I want to be just friends and he seems okay with it. I know I'm principled enough to not allow him have sex with me I'm wondering if it's safe being just friends with him. I enjoy talking to him and don't want to end our friendship.

25 Likes 14 Shares

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by Kimcutie: 10:11pm On Aug 25, 2020

Friends with benefits is the best bet for you.

153 Likes 10 Shares

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by Bola146(f): 10:11pm On Aug 25, 2020

You are not serious

A lady saying this

I just pray that you can stay in a marriage without flirting with another man, iranu

490 Likes 14 Shares

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by Nobody: 10:15pm On Aug 25, 2020

Do not let anyone blackmail you for being a promiscuous young woman. That is the trend and is celebrated by thousands of Erica's fans across Nigeria. At least, you have your hymen intact and your vagina sealed for Commissioning . Many , if not 85% lost theirs to men without purpose and ambition. 1% were deflowered by rapists and 13.999% by healthy cucumbers ,after a thorough self-service exercise got out of control. It is a rare feat to be in the almost non-existent 0.1% class these days.

If you have ever seen a female dog or goat sex starved then you'll understand that nature created women to be inordinate sex cravers. A research conducted by my humble self revealed that 96% of women aged 16 -35 are not satisfied with their sexual relationships.

The only solution to your problem is difficult. I wouldn't even admonish my sister to take such advice. It is what makes the 21st century lady's body itch at the sight of a tall bearded man , Italian Fashion, Swiss watch or German Car. The antidote to your misery and indecision is circumcision , otherwise called , Female Genital Mutilation in the Feminists parlance.

In life you will always find someone aesthetically superior to your current partner . The choice to prove your discipline or indiscipline rests on your shoulders.

357 Likes 24 Shares

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by Nobody: 10:17pm On Aug 25, 2020

endtime girlfriend

156 Likes 6 Shares

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by Olunmercy56(f): 10:19pm On Aug 25, 2020

Are you okay

You need a strong deliverance by dear sister. Your village people are at work. If your boyfriend is a good man, what else are you looking for

Think twice

65 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by Mrlucky81(m): 10:22pm On Aug 25, 2020

It is save o
Until he have a taste of your melon
Ohhh what a bombshell

19 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by athaboi(f): 10:23pm On Aug 25, 2020

Na f**ck dey hungry you

191 Likes 6 Shares

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by val4sure(m): 10:28pm On Aug 25, 2020

From your story, I know the second guy is hot, financial stable and has a nice ride and lovely apartment, that's why your body is doing you kpish kpish. You are lusting over the nigga and he will soon pop your cherry. Anyway it's not my business who you are lusting over because that is how an average Nigerian lady react when they see a well to do guy that is a more better option than their boyfriend.

But that wont be fair to your poor boyfriend, the young man deserve better because you ain't loyal, even in marriage your nipples will grow harder for the next mr charmer. So breakup with him today and embrace your new fantasy.

207 Likes 12 Shares

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by leksite120(m): 10:28pm On Aug 25, 2020

Sisi mi, that guy is playing u, he's an expert. If he truly loves u , he won't be asking for ur nudes for the main time u just met.
His charm has gotten u already.
Normal norma, there's nothing bad to Bleep yourselves since u both want it but u said u are a virgin, I won't advice u to break ur virginity with someone u don't trust or that doesn't truly love u

81 Likes 4 Shares

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by Nobody: 10:31pm On Aug 25, 2020

ItsTerah:
I know I'm going to get alot of insults from you guys and that's why I didn't use my original Nairaland account for this, but please hear me out and give me good advice.
I'm the kind of girl that doesn't love easily. I don't think I've ever fallen in love before. I have dated just one guy and I broke up with him when he tried to rape me. I'm still a virgin and the reason is because I have trust issues. I know that if I have sex with a guy I'll become very attached and my heart can easily be broken. So I'm waiting for a guy I can trust.
I recently just started dating someone. I'm not in love with him but we've been very good friends and when he asked me out I just had to say yes so that I wouldn't lose him. I've still not had sex with him and I like that he respects my wishes. My boyfriend loves me and although I don't love him equally I've opened up to him about how difficult it is for me to reciprocate love.
Then there is this other guy I just became friends with. I won't lie, I'm sexually attracted to this guy. My sexual attraction to him intensified when he opened up to me about his kinks which are similar to mine. He told me he has feelings for me and likes me alot and can't get me out of his mind. I admitted I am sexually attracted to him but that I don't have feelings for him. I know he is sexually attracted to me and has made advances at me and even asked for nude pictures all of which I refused. But I still talk to him. He knows about my boyfriend and is aware of my situation. Occasionally he flirts with me but I try not to flirt back. I've tried to bury my sexual attraction to him but he is just so physically appealing. I've made it clear that I want to be just friends and he seems okay with it. I know I'm principled enough to not allow him have sex with me I'm wondering if it's safe being just friends with him. I enjoy talking to him and don't want to end our friendship.

flee flee flee from him,you made a great mistake for telling him your sexual attraction to him,never do such again kos everything in his head now is how to have sex with you,he likes the fact that you have a boyfriend and also likes the fact that he will just be getting sex from you while your boyfriend keeps doing the loving.Please cut him off completely or simply tell him you lost the attraction as you don't get attracted to people for long.Flee Now else you become his sex thing.My dear i beg you to fleeeee don't let yourself down.God bless you

142 Likes 8 Shares

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by Slawormir: 10:31pm On Aug 25, 2020

Damnnnnn niggarrr
Confused beings
This is why they keep on cheating

Because they can't get all the qualities in one niggarrr.

Timothy is sexually attractive....
But i love Kevin....
Very confused people...

287 Likes 20 Shares

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by Nobody: 10:35pm On Aug 25, 2020

Orisirisi another version of Zzor

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by Ahmed0336(m): 10:35pm On Aug 25, 2020

Confirmed!!!
Village Scientists at work.

2 Likes

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by XXXXTENTACION: 10:36pm On Aug 25, 2020

Slawormir:
Damnnnnn niggarrr
Confused beings
This is why they keep on cheating
Because they can't get all the qualities in one niggarrr.
Timothy is sexually attractive....
But i love Kevin....
Very confused people...

I swear(total confusion) can you imagine if god could not satisfy a woman wetin come be we mortal men

67 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by MajesticKris: 10:37pm On Aug 25, 2020

You've already Burst the cherry already without being Struck with the cucumber

Go do the thing...

You've already done it...

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by MajesticKris: 10:38pm On Aug 25, 2020

I have one in my bed

My boyfriend can take a bullet for me..

But you cheat on him , so comfortably

Slawormir:
Damnnnnn niggarrr
Confused beings
This is why they keep on cheating
Because they can't get all the qualities in one niggarrr.
Timothy is sexually attractive....
But i love Kevin....
Very confused people...

20 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by Nobody: 10:39pm On Aug 25, 2020

ZINIBANKS:
Orisirisi

shut up

3 Likes

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by MajesticKris: 10:41pm On Aug 25, 2020

Flee flee flee
As if say e dey easy

Zzor:
flee flee flee from him,you made a great mistake for telling him your sexual attraction to him,never do such again kos everything in his head now is how to have sex with you,he likes the fact that you have a boyfriend and also likes the fact that he will just be getting sex from you while your boyfriend keeps doing the loving.Please cut him off completely or simply tell him you lost the attraction as you don't get attracted to people for long.Flee Now else you become his sex thing.My dear i beg you to fleeeee don't let yourself down.God bless you

1 Like

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by SageMK: 10:42pm On Aug 25, 2020

It is not okay for you to be mentally screwing some other guy much less keep him close as a friend. Stay away from him.

4 Likes

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by Nobody: 10:43pm On Aug 25, 2020

MajesticKris:
Flee flee flee As if say e dey easy

what is not easy here

9 Likes

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by MajesticKris: 10:47pm On Aug 25, 2020

What is nt easy here is the fact that, she has more sexual intentions for the guy

Have you ever had sexual need for a particular person before..

I bet you know what I mean...

So it's not easy, not to say when they happen to see often...

Zzor:
what is not easy here

6 Likes

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by PureGoldh(m): 10:49pm On Aug 25, 2020

Issoryt...make I no talk wetin dey my mind first

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by Nobody: 10:51pm On Aug 25, 2020

MajesticKris:
What is nt easy here is the fact that, she has more sexual intentions for the guy
Have you ever had sexual need for a particular person before..
I bet you know what I mean...
So it's not easy, not to say when they happen to see often...

God forbids I ever tell any guy I'm sexually attracted to him,not in this life, I will do house chores and increase my busy schedule to quench the yeye attraction.Those feelings don't last long,its how a guy treats and value you that matters most

67 Likes 5 Shares

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by Nobody: 10:52pm On Aug 25, 2020

This matter tie gele

4 Likes

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by meobizy: 10:54pm On Aug 25, 2020

I have multiple crushes and yet crush on many others.

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by dingbang(m): 10:56pm On Aug 25, 2020

Oh gosh, what kind of confused lady is this

3 Likes

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by MajesticKris: 10:59pm On Aug 25, 2020

See you...

Relationships that last long these days are the type that knows what they want...

If you tell him you like him will you die

I DNT know what our girls of these days are feeling like...

Knowing fully well you guys enjoy the whole knacking Pass...

Zzor:
God forbids I ever tell any guy I'm sexually attracted to him,not in this life, I will do house chores and increase my busy schedule to quench the yeye attraction.Those feelings don't last long,its how a guy treats and value you that matters most

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by merieam16(f): 11:00pm On Aug 25, 2020

Okay...wat do want us 2 do nw cos am as confused as u are

3 Likes

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by Nobody: 11:02pm On Aug 25, 2020

MajesticKris:
See you...
Relationships that last long these days are the type that knows what they want...
If you tell him you like him will you die
I DNT know what our girls of these days are feeling like...
Knowing fully well you guys enjoy the whole knacking Pass...

yet it's you guys that scout around looking for what and who to knack,dont deceive yourself

3 Likes

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by evil1: 11:03pm On Aug 25, 2020

Let me wait for bitter and heart broken ladies to spill words of hate about men....

2 Likes

Re: I Have A Boyfriend But I'm Sexually Attracted To Someone Else. by Nobody: 11:09pm On Aug 25, 2020

ItsTerah:
I know I'm going to get alot of insults from you guys and that's why I didn't use my original Nairaland account for this, but please hear me out and give me good advice.
I'm the kind of girl that doesn't love easily. I don't think I've ever fallen in love before. I have dated just one guy and I broke up with him when he tried to rape me. I'm still a virgin and the reason is because I have trust issues. I know that if I have sex with a guy I'll become very attached and my heart can easily be broken. So I'm waiting for a guy I can trust.
I recently just started dating someone. I'm not in love with him but we've been very good friends and when he asked me out I just had to say yes so that I wouldn't lose him. I've still not had sex with him and I like that he respects my wishes. My boyfriend loves me and although I don't love him equally I've opened up to him about how difficult it is for me to reciprocate love.
Then there is this other guy I just became friends with. I won't lie, I'm sexually attracted to this guy. My sexual attraction to him intensified when he opened up to me about his kinks which are similar to mine. He told me he has feelings for me and likes me alot and can't get me out of his mind. I admitted I am sexually attracted to him but that I don't have feelings for him. I know he is sexually attracted to me and has made advances at me and even asked for nude pictures all of which I refused. But I still talk to him. He knows about my boyfriend and is aware of my situation. Occasionally he flirts with me but I try not to flirt back. I've tried to bury my sexual attraction to him but he is just so physically appealing. I've made it clear that I want to be just friends and he seems okay with it. I know I'm principled enough to not allow him have sex with me I'm wondering if it's safe being just friends with him. I enjoy talking to him and don't want to end our friendship.

From your write-up I can deduce that you're still a teenager/early 20s(hoeing phase).. Don't worry you will soon understand what's up!

19 Likes 1 Share

Can you love someone and be sexually attracted to someone else?

In fact, it's much more common than you might expect. In one study published in Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, almost 70% of participants said they'd experienced some kind of attraction toward someone other than their partner while in a long-term relationship.

Is it okay to be attracted to someone else when you have a boyfriend?

It's perfectly normal to still fancy other people, even when you are in a happy relationship,” he explains. “You can be in a relationship with someone and still appreciate a good looking person when you see them. A little fantasy here or there is healthy as long as that's all it is.”

Is it normal to be attracted to someone else while in a relationship?

Finding someone else attractive while in a relationship is an entirely normal phenomenon many people experience. While crushes are more likely to sprout up while you are going through a rough patch with your partner, they can strike at any time.