How to make a man want to commit

I can tell you what men want, even if they don’t know it. And if you do it properly you can make any man chase you.

The thing about men is that they know what they want and they go after it. If you can make them want you, they’ll never stay away.

The women men adore already know how to make a guy want a relationship.

The truth is, you can get any man you like to commit and you don’t have to look like Beyoncé to do it.

Women are doing it every day without even knowing it.

It’s simply a matter of knowing what stops them from settling down, and how you can make them want to commit to you.

Why Won’t Guys Commit To You?

There are several reasons that explain why you can’t seem to get a great guy to commit to you. Here are some of the most common ones…

REASON #1 – Things are moving too quickly.

It’s tempting early in a relationship to spend every waking moment together but this is a bad idea. The candle that burns the brightest, burns the quickest.

Even if he’s the one pressuring you to hang out all the time, it doesn’t mean that you should. Remember, guys know what they want, not what they need.

Take things slow that each milestone feels like a milestone. Don’t have sex the first night you kiss. Don’t spend all weekend together before you know his middle name.

REASON #2 – He has no relationship skills.

Even if he seems confident, he may have almost no experience with women or relationships. Many guys are only “players” because they lack confidence in relationships and wouldn’t know how to settle down if they wanted to.

Continue to take things slow but treat him with kindness and compassion and he’ll learn to do the same.

REASON #3 – He’s afraid of the future

The future is scary for all of us. Women tend to be afraid they’ll end up all alone while men are more often worried that they’ll get “wifed up” and will miss the chance to be with many different women. There’s no way around this, but keep it in mind when considering his thoughts and feelings.

You can’t stop him from wanting other women, but read on for some tips to keep his eyes from straying…

REASON #4 – He feels pressure to commit

If you’re reading this, you want a committed boyfriend. Even if you think you’re cool as a cucumber, you could be sending off signals that you’re in this for the long haul.

Examine your own behaviour. Don’t go overboard with positivity and closeness all the time. Cuddling is good occasionally but don’t cling to him like a baby kangaroo 24/7!

Project an aura of independence and live in the moment. Don’t get swept up in your own thoughts of your life together. Because even if you’re talking about the weather, if you’re planning your honeymoon in your head, he’ll be able to tell something is up.

REASON #5 – He’s got other irons in the fire

Often men won’t commit because they’re afraid to lose the opportunity to date other women. Men like this often play the field, dating multiple women at once. Many men these days even engage in what is known as benching, the act of keeping potential dates in reserve as a sort of backup plan.

The idea that he’s benching may be off-putting, but it does hint at a certain weak spot that he may not even be aware of: fear of being alone. If you can show a man that you’re all he needs and that you won’t run away when things get tough, he’s more likely to commit to you. That’s why it’s important to stress the importance of being a “one-man woman” from your perspective.

15 Ways To Make Your Man Commit

Now, let’s move on and talk about some ‘commitment-building’ tactics…

#1. Small Surprises

Men often say they hate surprises, but that simply isn’t true. As long as the surprises aren’t over-the-top ordeals that put him in an awkward situation (i.e., surprise parties), then he  truly will appreciate his lady taking the time to do something thoughtful for him.

If you want to try to surprise your man, consider making a nice dinner, picking up his favourite beer, or even stashing cute love notes in his lunch bag. Yes, women love the big, dramatic, romantic gestures, but men would rather get theirs on a smaller scale.

#2. Be Decisive (Commit To A Decision!)

Everyone has their indecisive moments, but this type of behaviour can be draining. If you’re the type of woman who relies on her man to choose everything from where to go for dinner to what to wear on New Year’s Eve, then he’s going to either get bored of your indecisiveness, or become annoyed by it.

Whether you’re playing hard to get in the wrong way or simply unable to pick a movie to watch this is one of the top reasons that men lose interest.

As much as guys like to be in control, they have different interests than women and the last thing they want to do is answer to all your girlie decisions. Instead, have opinions of your own– make decisions and express yourself. After all, your man fell for you, so show him how strong and independent you can be.

#3. Be Punctual

Being on time for someone is a sign of respect, so if you have plans to meet your man somewhere, then be there when you say you will.

There is very rarely an acceptable excuse for being late; in fact, you should aim to arrive 10 minutes ahead of time so that unexpected delays don’t affect your schedule.

It doesn’t matter if your nylons got a pull on your way out the door and caused you to change, or that traffic was backed up for blocks; the key is to be prepared and to anticipate these kind of incidents. Treat every occasion like a first date; you wouldn’t keep him waiting then, so maintain the same attitude.

#4. Have a Life Without Him (Important!)

In the beginning of a romantic relationship it’s easy to get swept away by infatuation and to want to spend all of your free time with your lover.

That said, you should never lose yourself to your relationship. As much as your man may openly admit he loves spending time with you, it’s important to make it known that you have a life outside of the relationship.

Does He Like Me? I’ve created a quiz that will tell you definitively if a guy likes you… or not. Click here to take the quiz and and discover his true feelings.

There’s nothing worse than when a women pushes her friends, family, and hobbies to the side to make room for a man, so find a happy medium and make the most of life.

Your man will miss you when you’re not around, so go out with your gal pals, sign up for that spinning class, or take a weekend to yourself; you’ll be sure to have his attention when you return.

#5. Keep Arguments Private

No matter how angry or upset you may be with your man, you should never scream at him, belittle him, or call him names — especially if you’re in public. The only way to have a healthy argument with your partner is to keep it private.

This means that it doesn’t matter if you’re at a party or in a shopping mall, you shouldn’t argue if there’s an audience. Arguing in front of others is not only humiliating, but it’s also extremely disrespectful.

The same can be said for sharing your problems with outsiders; you wouldn’t like it if he dished out the dirt to his friends, so don’t do it to him.

Keep in mind is that you and your man will be over your argument long before your man’s friends forget how you treated him.

#6. Be Open to Sex (Important!)

If you want your man to commit, it’s important to be open to his sexual needs, and willing to explore his desires.

It’s not uncommon for couples to have different sex drives, but it’s important to compromise so that one partner isn’t feeling neglected in particular areas.

#7. Drop the Drama (Important!)

Stereotypes aside, women have a greater tendency to be dramatic over the little things, which is why it’s important to learn how to control your anger so you won’t sweat the small stuff.

Whether your man is late getting home from work or leaves his dirty socks on the bathroom floor, calmly address problems as they arise rather than throwing a fit of rage.

This doesn’t just speak to your relationship, but your life as a whole. Dig deep and get grounded, practice calmness, kindness, and patience. Men admire a woman that they can relax around.

#8. Be Playful

There’s nothing men love more than to be able to laugh and joke around with their partner. Besides, who doesn’t love a good laugh? No matter how stressful your day job may be or how many errands you have to run in one day, always make time to be playful with one another.

Tease your man, wrestle him, and let your guard down. Sharing this kind of vulnerability with your partner is not only a great way to connect on a deeper level, but it’ll also make your man realize how lucky he is to have a friend in you.

Do you often find yourself stuck with men who refuse to commit, no matter how hard you try? Watch this free how-to video presentation I recently posted on my website.

#9. Don’t Need to Be Right

There’s no bigger turnoff than the need to always be right, so don’t do it. Sure, it’s okay to correct your man from time to time, but if you obsess over proving your point and putting him down, you’re only going to sabotage the relationship.

It’s one thing to express yourself and show off how amazingly smart you are, it’s another to belittle him or make him feel stupid. At the end of the day the goal is to be happy together, so know when to prove yourself and when to let it slide.

#10. Don’t Obsess Over Your Looks

A major misconception is that your man expects you to look like an airbrushed magazine model. He doesn’t.

In fact, most men find it unattractive when their lady spends too much time obsessing about her looks and caking on the makeup.

You also shouldn’t complain to him about how you wish you were ten pounds lighter or two inches taller, and don’t compare yourself to other women.

RELATED: How To Attract A Man And Make Him Want You

It can be tough at times, but do your best to master your insecurities and just be you, the beautiful soul he fell for. If there are parts of your body that you would like to improve, then do it for yourself, and properly.

Fad diets, obsessive workouts, and fishing for compliments is no way to get his attention. Simply be confident in who you are and how you look — it’s one of the most attractive traits you can possess.

#11. Be Reliable

Let your man know that he can count on you. A thought that every man has when considering committing to a woman is “Can I depend on her?”

Every successful relationship requires an unspoken promise to be there for one another. If you have a habit of making promises you can’t keep or saying you’ll do things that you won’t, he is going to have a hard time trusting you to be there when he needs you. Be a woman of your word.

#12. Be Supportive

Whether your man wants to continue his education, pursue a new career, or start an 80s hair metal band, support him in his ventures. One of the quickest ways to lose your guy is by putting down his dreams, so even if they’re not realistic, let him know you’ve got his back.

The most powerful bond you can make with your man is based on support for one another’s wants and needs. If his plans interfere with your long-term goals, then sit down and discuss the direction you’re headed in as a couple. Regardless of what he’s striving for, always be his biggest fan.

#13. Be Appreciative

You’d be amazed how much a simple “thank you” means to your man. As couples get comfortable with one another and the small gestures that used to be a big deal become the norm, it’s common for couples to forget to show their appreciation.

Make a conscious effort to thank your man for making dinner, doing the dishes, or holding the door open. He’ll be grateful for your appreciation and happy that you still recognize his efforts. They may not always show it, but men love to be appreciated.

#14. Trust Him (Important!)

If you feel like you’re constantly playing detective or checking in on your man every few hours, then chances are you have some trust issues. In order to be in a happy, committed relationship it’s crucial that your man knows you trust him. And remember: actions speak louder than words.

No guy wants to tie himself down to someone who is going to harass them about his whereabouts or the company he keeps. Instead, know that he wants to be with you, and move on happily together.

If your man gives you reason to not trust him, then confront him about it and, if need be, cut him loose; there’s no point in wasting your time on a relationship that lacks trust. But unless he proves otherwise, your man should be a person you love and trust, and he should know it.

#15. Love Unconditionally

Through thick and thin, good times and bad, you must love your man if you want him to commit to you. Just think, why would anyone want to share their life with someone who loves them based on a set of limitations?

Every relationship experiences its highs and lows, but it’s during the low phases that your love shines brightest. Even if your man spills red wine on the carpet, bleaches your favourite shirt, or has one too many shots at the bar, your love should continue to radiate, unconditionally.

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7 Signs He’s Losing Interest In You (And What To Do About It)

Amy North

Amy North, BA, BSc, is a woman’s best friend. If you’re searching for the man of your dreams, or you want make your boyfriend stay devoted to you, then Amy North is your gal! Amy's incredibly popular YouTube channel, which boasts over 340,000 subscribers and 20+ million views, helps women learn how to get what they want out of their relationships. Her best-selling program, The Devotion System, reveals a number of psychological ‘hot buttons’ that make any man 'tick', and teaches readers how to use simple techniques and phrases to make any man love you.

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